How things have changed

I've changed. I now spend money on lunches and baby formula. I kill spiders in my bedroom and watch lizards creep around my classroom without shuddering. I don't keep every area over which I have control impeccably neat, clean, and organized. I wear skirts a lot and wear my hair down up to three times a week. My only beverages are water and coffee. It's different, but it's no big deal.

Other changes are a big deal; if you don't believe me, read this post about the lies I used to tell. Beyond that, I now embrace joy as a way of life rather than a reaction that depends on good things happening to me. This Wednesday morning found me running late as I left my house (I'm pretty much never late to school, ever), about to spill my coffee out of a borrowed mug (I had left mine, of course, in my classroom), with my hair in every direction and my skirt unfortunately revealing my horribly scraped up knees (on which I knew my students would comment, which is just weird), with neither a prepared devotional for my homeroom nor a printed quiz for my 9th graders nor my laptop. I was about to get my "This is awful and I want to disappear" face on. I couldn't. The morning was too lovely. Nothing had gone well other than finally getting my email to load and making coffee/breakfast with all three of my housemates, but still I couldn't help but be joyful. 

Maybe even mistakes, failures, and flubs can be enjoyed, for they remind me of the fact that I am a human dependent on Someone who loves me immeasurably. For this I thank God and seek the faith to move right along, embracing what he's called me to do. 

Inexplicably idealistic? Yes. Wonderfully so.